You Know You’re at the Airport Early When Starbucks Isn’t Even Open Yet

I promised a post from San Diego and this is me delivering that promise…from the airport on my way home! This was such a whirlwind of a weekend, which I knew it would be. As I leave sunny, warm California for grey, cold, snowy midwest I’m reflecting on the following observations I made this weekend:

1.     Cabs are EXPENSIVE. I’m pretty sure I spent more money on 4 cab rides (lasting no more than 10 minutes each) than I did on dinner Friday night, breakfast Saturday morning, and dinner Saturday night combined. And each of the meals cost at least $10. Also, not one of my cab drivers was a native born American. I have no intentions of stereotyping or being racist, but I couldn’t help but notice this. With the unemployment rate so high, why aren’t more people cab drivers? Considering how much money I paid for my rides, I’m sure you could make a decent living driving cabs. I should tell my unemployed clients to look into it…actually, never mind. Most of them don’t have drivers’ licenses.

2.     The sky was so blue and the sun so bright. I felt like I was in a Pirates of the Carribbean movie.

3.     Even though I was by myself, I noticed that I didn’t feel lonely. I felt like I had more time than I would have had I been with someone else. I was able to do what I wanted, go where I wanted, when I wanted. And I saw a lot in a short amount of time. And I had no plans. Yesterday I was at Balboa Park, literally about to call a cab, when I noticed a trolley loading for a free ride around the park. The park is 1200 acres (bigger than Central Park) so there was no way I would be able to walk all the way around. So I closed my phone and jumped on the trolley. Totally worth it.

4.     On a similar note, I ate a late lunch/early dinner at a nice, delicious seafood restaurant right on the bay. My first time eating in a restaurant all by myself! It was interesting because I was surrounded by couples and I noticed several people on their phones or Blackberries surfing the internet and talking every once in awhile to their significant others. Made me wonder: am I anymore by myself than any of these people?

So it was a great trip. Except for a small period of time walking home from the restaurant last night (when I realized I really didn’t know where I was and ended up in a rental car parking lot near the airport waiting for a cab), I was happy by myself. Actually, I didn’t really notice I was by myself. I was too enthralled in the beauty around me. My prayer is that I take this home with me. That, although outside is grey, cold, and snowy, I am enthralled with the beauty and glory of God around me. Whether that be in my relationships, my job, my family, etc. I want to be so engrossed in the Lord that, while I’m aware of myself and who I am, I am okay by myself. I need community, absolutely, but I’m not always going to be surrounded by community. At the end of the day, it’s me. Me and God.

Getting off the plane on Friday, I literally had to contain my excitement, until I got to my room, where I jumped up and down and squealed in delight. I definitely googled ‘counseling jobs in San Diego’ Friday night. Just doing a little bit of dreaming. I’ve always said I could never live in a place that didn’t have seasons or snow. But I think I could get used to it…we’ll see, who knows. I have no plans. 

J

New Opportunities in Travel: A Ticket to Anywhere

I had an accidental extra Christmas present this year. Two days after Christmas, as my precious sister and brother-in-law were preparing to head back to Miami, my parents began researching flights and planning dates to go visit them. My dad, who is a frequent flyer for business trips, realized he had quite an accumulation of frequent flyer miles, as well as hotel points. One ticket had to be redeemed by January 26. My mom already had a ticket to fly to see her family out of state and my dad (a frequent flyer and one who relishes being home) had nowhere he wanted to go in particular. So my dad turns to me and asks, “You want it?”

My affinity for travel has dramatically increased since the summer after my junior year in high school when I visited Europe for the first time. I love to travel! Even within the continental U.S., I love visiting new places, seeing new people, and imagining what life would be like living in a new place. When my dad asked me if I wanted a free ticket to anywhere in the country, I felt my heart rate increase and my mouth began to salivate (okay, not really on the salivating part, but I was pretty stoked!).

My immediate thought was Miami to visit Kelly and Bill and see their new place. After looking into it, it was clear I would not be able to find available flights without taking time off work, which, unfortunately, is not an option for me right now. I was bummed about not being able to see them, but my mind quickly began to dream about all the other places I could go. My dad sat patiently with me, punching in flight options on his laptop, as I listed various cities and changed my mind over and over: New York, San Francisco, Denver, Los Angeles, Orlando. Deciding that I would be crazy to choose anywhere remotely cold in the middle of January over somewhere warm and in the 70s, I decided on California – Southern California. San Diego.

I was determined to choose a place I had never been and really had no reason to visit. When else would I get a chance like this to pick a random city and just go? The funny thing about all of this is: it is so not me. Right now, I’m sitting in Lambert Airport, by myself, at 6:30AM, waiting to board a plane to a place I’ve never been and where I know absolutely no one. Anyone who knows me well knows I’m a planner. I’m semi-laid-back, but I like to know what’s coming. I like to be prepared. I have my airline tickets, my hotel reservation, and the number to call for the hotel shuttle to pick me up at the airport. Beyond that, I’m completely on my own. This is also unlike me. Sure, I’ve flown by myself plenty of times, but never to a destination where I would be completely by myself. If this chance had come up a couple of years ago, I would have at least flown somewhere to visit or stay with someone I know. But right now, I’m okay. I’m nervous, but mostly, I’m okay. I’m feeling adventurous.

Why can’t I be like this all of the time? I’m not this adventurous in real life. The last time I was adventurous in real life I ended up taking a job counseling drug addicts and convicted felons (which, although there have been many difficult days, has turned into an alright job). Why can’t I be okay with not knowing more often? Why can’t I be more excited to explore something new, different, and completely out of the ordinary for me in my own city?  Why can’t I be more courageous in trying new things, meeting new people, or taking more initiative in relationships? I settle so much into my own comfort zone that risk taking in that comfort zone scares me. It takes a push from God or a free airline ticket to force me to do something I may have imagined doing, but never actually done.

And why can’t I be more okay being by myself? I’m 100% an extrovert. I thrive being around people. I love being around people. I need time alone to relax, unwind, and be with the Lord, but then I’m ready to party. So I’m expecting this weekend to be slightly awkward. It hit me just a minute ago – am I going to talk this weekend? I mean, besides asking the concierge at the hotel questions, thanking cab drivers, and ordering food, am I going to speak to anyone? Weird.

I’m thankful for this weekend because I’m hoping it will be not only a spiritual retreat, time to be refreshed in the Lord, and a sunny escape from 8+ inches of snow, but that it will also be a lesson in being adventurous: trying new things and enjoying myself. Not just enjoying myself in the sense of having fun, but enjoying who I am, who the Lord has created me to be, and enjoying being myself in a new place. A sunny place. A warm place. J

I promised Kat I would write at least one post actually from California, so I will do my best to follow through on that promise!

J

New Adventures in Home Economics

2011 is turning out to be the Suzy Homemaker part VII...I've gone through numerous phases were all I want to do is sew things and try new recipes.

Over the last few weeks I've embarked on several new tasks...

1)  Drinking 8 glasses of water...not really anything making or creating...just doing.

2) I have several friends who are pregnant and expecting  in the coming months so it's baby blanket season.  Sadly our local Wal-Mart is no longer going to be carrying fabrics so fabrics were all 50-75% off the last 3 weeks.  I used this opportunity to stock up on fabric.  Below is baby blanket #1 for my dear friends Tim and Laura and their sweet little baby boy due in March.

"Lions, and Tigers, and Hippos???"

3) I also made a homemade snuggie/snuggle/slanket...whatever terminology you perfer.  An official Snuggie goes for around $15.00...mine $7.00.  I sure hope I don't lose it or get lost in a snow storm...

4) And the most recent creation is that of the culinary kind.  Everyone loves a good restaurant and my current favorite is The Fountain in St. Louis.  Here is my recreation of their Fountain Foccacia.

Ingredients:  ~5oz of spinach, ~2 boxes of low fat cream cheese, 

~1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese, ~ half can of artichoke hearts (diced), 

~1/4tsp of crushed red pepper flakes

~ french bread, ~fresh tomatoes, ~ plain hummus 

Mix spinach, cream cheese, cheese, artichoke hearts, red pepper until well blended.

Cut bread into 3 inch sections and halve.

Spread a thin layer of hummus over the bread before applying the spinach mixture.

Top with tomatoes and enjoy!

New Opportunities

This year has already begun to fill with new opportunities for me, which has me thinking about how we know when we're supposed to wait and when we're supposed to move.  2010 was a super-charged jolt after a few years of languishing in a holding pattern.  That seems to be par for the course for those of us post-grad 20-somethings.  I know I spent a lot of time refusing to move on and honestly had to have things yanked out from under me before I would give up.  But here I am, and things are going much better than I could have planned.

As I think more about it though, the frustrating experiences I went through in the last few years were integral in who I am today.  Is that usually the case?  Do we have to go through dark times in order to be ready for great joy?  If we have no reason to accept new opportunities - if we remain comfortable in our day to day lives - perhaps we will never decide to move on.  Growth is painful and uncomfortable and messy.  But it is also Good.

John 12:24 (The Message)

 ^24-25"Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal."

K.

Passion

When I do something, I attack it.  I don't quit until I've tried pretty much everything.  I try new things all the time, but I don't dabble, I get really into one thing at a time and beat it to death.

In high school I ate, slept, and breathed theatre.  For a while in college, I was super into Tae Bo.  When I started working at a domestic violence shelter, I learned everything I could about how to relate to my clients.  Last year I learned to play the bass guitar because I wanted to be in a band with my friends.

I've been passionate about all these things.  Passion is about defining who we are - about finding our place to belong.  When we are passionate about something, we are claiming it as part of ourselves.  I am _______.

However, as I think about passonate living, I realize I have abandoned many of my previous endeavors because I grew tired of them.  Perhaps it is part of being in my 20s and, up until this point, I have been defining myself and tweaking out the kinks.  But part of me has to wonder, when will I be satisfied?  Will my passion always burn hot and then flame out?  Will I be able to find something about which to remain passionate, aside from my Lord?  And this brings me to more questions about what I should be doing and how I should be serving.

In true academic form, my questions only lead to more questions.

K.

Brick Walls and Mustard Seeds

When I think of the word passion, I think of something that I am compelled to do, something I would not feel right about not doing. A very strong instinct. I have not always been good about trusting my instincts – I second guess myself…a lot. But as a new counselor, I have learned that trusting my instincts is an essential part of my job. And I am passionate about my job. Passionate in the sense that I believe I would not feel right not counseling. When people ask me when I decided or how I decided I wanted to be a counselor, I pause and honestly answer with, “I don’t know.” Probably not an answer you’d want to hear from your therapist.  I think I can trace it back to junior or senior year of high school? All I can say is that I felt compelled. I didn’t really know what being a counselor meant - I didn’t even enter counseling myself until college! By then, I was well into a psychology degree that had me taking classes on statistics, physiology of the brain, and research methods, things I was certainly not passionate about! But I was passionate about people in need, people in pain, and I felt compelled to listen to other people’s stories, be a safe place for them to share their souls, as well as trade ideas on life, sin, and healing. This passion grew even stronger once I entered graduate school and actually began counseling.

As I’ve been reflecting on this topic, I realize that my passion can be blocked. Like by a brick wall.  And I think I am my own brick wall. My insecurities are the bricks of this wall. One such brick in my wall is that of feelings of incompetence.  I went through a period of work a couple of months ago where I felt I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and it affected my work so much that I literally had a meltdown in front of my boss. He reassured me, that I did in fact have some idea of what I was doing, that I was doing my job well, and that I needed to relax. His honest and encouraging feedback saved me from myself! By my feelings of incompetence, I was blocking myself and my passion to help others.

Now I am facing another brick wall. I am passionate about community and relationships. I feel I have been experiencing a drought in these areas recently. I am examining this wall, trying to figure out what kind of bricks are composing this wall.  Certainly, relationships and community involve more than one person and I know that I can try everything I possibly can to make something happen, but nothing will happen if the other party does not reciprocate. But I’m feeling stuck, not sure what to do next, on the verge of giving up and becoming a hobbit. I’m standing at a brick wall and I’m examining the bricks to see what is keeping me there: insecurity? Fear of the unknown or unfamiliar? Fear of meeting new people? Fear of rejection?

The amazing thing about Christ is that he breaks down these walls. These walls made of bricks comprised of feelings and thoughts that keep us from what he made us uniquely passionate about.  Praise God for this! And all it takes is faith as a big of a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20; Luke 17:6), which is also something to praise God for because sometimes I know I don’t have much more than a mustard seed’s worth of faith! Praise God for his amazing grace, for tearing down the walls, even when I only have faith the size of a small seed!

J

Living Life With a Passion From God

If passion comes from the word suffering...does that mean God wants us to be miserable all the time?

Simple answer no...it means fulling devoting yourself to what God has in store for you.  Jesus fully devoted himself to God's will... that's my ultimate goal also.  I want to be able to fully abandon my inhibitions that have slowly crept up and step out in a big way.  Big as in illustrious and over the top...no...big as in out of my comfort zone.

It is so easy to hide behind the walls of familiarity.  I want to have the ability to let God lead me through some uncomfortable times.  Some of my most uncomfortable times in the past have proven to be the most fruitful and rewarding times of my life.  Seeking life with passion...January's resolution.

First step in being passionate about life...identifying what areas are holding me back.  I don't have a formula for this other than prayer and seeking wisdom in God's word and wise people.

Last month, Christian Audio was offering John Piper's book "Don't Waste Your Life" as one of their free monthly downloads.  I have been too afraid of the discomfort the book might cause by actually listening to it that I have actually avoided listening to it...right now that is step one...letting God through is word, prayer, and various other mediums such as books start showing me how to find true passion and worth in Him and Him alone.

B.

CESTY - Come on a journey with us....

Cesty (aka journey in Czech) - an act of traveling...a passage.

Here on this blog we will discuss, debate, and share our lives with each other.  We hope you will feel free to comment and add to our stories throughout this year.

Up first - Passion:   the orignins of the word - Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin passion-, passio suffering, being acted upon, from Latin pati to suffer  (www.m-w.com)




What is your passion?  What does passion mean to you?  What does it mean to have Biblical passion?


We're excited for this new adventure and hope you will be too!